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99 Bottles of... «
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99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall

    This story is back when IGOJPN (plate names used to protect the indolent), and I first started wheeling. Me and the "tolerant one",(my wife), had just gotten our first Powerwagon, and needed to try it out. I called IGOJPN to see if he and his Scrambler wanted to do some trails and a little camping. He told me about a mudhole up on Seven Mile Creek that could swallow a Samarai without any problem. Since we were new at this, we hadn't learned to respect the need to follow any safety precautions.

    To make a long story short, we went up and down this trail, and traversed that mud hole several times. We were both pretty full of ourselves. My wife and I decided to camp at the end of a little road that night, and IGOJPN and his wife would meet us the next day and camp together. We told them if they got stuck, to honk their horn and I'd come a-running. This was pretty funny as we obviously could climb trees without even spinning a tire! But you never know. We settled down for the night, got into bed and never heard the honk of a horn. I unholstered my .44 mag in case any 2 or 4 legged varmints decided we had something that they wanted. Just as I entered that area of half sleep, right before the chainsaw fires up, my wife shook me and asked the question that every man hates, "did you hear that?" As my wife is a light sleeper, and can hear every time a chipmunk passes gas, I disregarded her question. But then I soon heard some faint voices. I grabbed my trusty revolver and awaited the worst. As the voices grew louder they appeared to be singing, "99 bottles of beer on the wall, etc." Of course they got stuck. With no moon out that night, and with the trees so close together it almost seemed like you were in a tunnel, you couldn't see your hand in front of your face, and the CB was line-of-sight only. Being prepared offroaders, they had not brought a flashlight with them. They followed the trail by feel. When they felt a tree wap them in the face they turned the other way. As they approached our camp, they were afraid I would shoot them, so they started singing the only song they knew all the words to.(They had just graduated from college) After we made sure they were all right, and stopped laughing, I drove back and pulled them out by headlight.

    Fortunately God looks out for fools and 4-wheelers, or am I being redundant.

    We look back and laugh at out first fledgling steps, and wonder how we made it this far.

Submitted by "MUDDOG" pwrwgn@hotmail.com

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